Ways that I will Change Now that I am a Published Writer
- I will bath myself only in natural spring water imported from France.
- I will try to give out my autograph whenever asked for it, but my fans must understand that I have so many names to sign, and after a while my wrist starts to get tired.
- Demand that I receive a bowl of only light brown M&Ms in my dressing room.
- I will give both my Monkey Butler and my Robot Maid a raise.
- Every conversation shall end by lesser beings saying, "Thank you Matthew J. Hanson, for gracing us with your presence." To which I will respond, "Aw shucks, you don't need to say that." If they do not say that, they will be disintegrated.
- I will have people.
- I will purchase the Eberron campaign setting using my hard earned money, rather than waiting to ask for it for Christmas.
- Your people will call my people.
- I will refer to myself not as "Award winning author Matthew J. Hanson" but instead as "Award winning and published author Matthew J. Hanson."
- I will create a website dedicated to myself.
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