Yes, with the return of the random banners at the top of the page, I have decided to host my first ever Matthew J. Hanson.com contest. "A contest?" you say. "How do I win!"

It's very simple, whoever creates the best witty phrase to be displayed on a random Matthew J. Hanson.com banner wins the prize. I will choose an undisclosed number of finalists, but it will be up to the readers to decided who wins the jackpot.

"I like big prizes!" you say. "But wait a minute, are you going to claim it's a big prize and then just give me the respect, adoration, and jealous resentment of my peers?"

Of course not! In addition to jealous resentment, I am also promise to give the winner:

ANY FREE PRODUCT* FROM THE MATTHEW J. HANSON.COM STORE!!!

How totally sweet is that?

Send your entries to: reallyawesomecontest@matthewjhanson.com. (No seriously).

*Valued at 2.98 or less. Void where prohibited.