I had a rather harrowing time of it this afternoon. You see, by some cruel twist of fate, the Magic Box that connects me two the Internet mysteriously terminated.

Before you get too worried, it was the Big Magic Box, the one with screen and the keyboard attached. It was just the Little Magic Box that serves as an intermediary between the Big Magic Box and the Phone Jack. Note that my use of the adverb "just" is in a relative sense. I don't want it to sound like a small deal. No, it was a big deal.

I was forced to spend my entire afternoon staring blankly at ceiling, pondering the great mysteries of life, like "What does the Flying Spaghetti Monster have planned for us," and "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop."

And of course the greatest mystery of all, "How did people manage to waste time before the Internet? Watch TV? Read a book?" I have no idea how you'd manage to get away with that at work.